Round 1 Over 55s Match Report

Dusty dissects the Round 1 game between Eastern Warriors and Lilydale.

The first game of the season for the Eastern Warriors against a resurgent Lilydale kicked off in bright sunshine at the well-manicured Roy Dore Reserve. I never met Roy but those who have, always say that he was a stickler for short cropped, green grass, neat white boundary lines and a canteen stocked with plenty of dimmies and snags.

I’m pleased to say that he would have been proud of what was presented on Sunday. (I’m assuming that he is no longer with us, although I note it is not called the Roy Dore Memorial reserve – so maybe that old bloke sucking on a sausage in the shadow of the pavilion was him).

Regardless, Roy Dore was an ornament to the game of football, I’m sure. The same cannot be said of my own performance in the opening round. After an attractive gather and sweeping handball to a team mate early in the first quarter my game became ineffectual, transitioned through ineffective and finished up inept. I dropped a couple of easy marks, one of which went straight through my hands, like a bishop through a choir boy. It bounced behind me and bobbled into the hands of my Lilydale opponent (aptly nicknamed Rooter) who accepted it gleefully and pumped the pill back into attack.

Despite my lacklustre performance, the Warriors were on top through most of the first half. Led by the dashing Matty D, whose swerving, evasive runs from the back half mirror his driving in afternoon traffic on the South Gippy Highway, and ably supported by the ever-reliable Dave H at full back the Warriors repeatedly entered the forward fifty. Magoo looked dangerous, using his increasing girth to good effect in marking contests – and hitting the scoreboard. Grunta, a debutante for the 55s, brought his ferocious tackling and surprising leg speed to bear on the contest and Nugget turned out to be an absolute gem in the midfield.

Our other debutante, Clint was also gathering the ball at will. The former over-50s heartthrob is sure to become the pin up boy for the 55s with his combination of grace, high leaping and ability to seemingly be into places at once. (My only suggestion would be the addition of a man-bun, to modernise his look and get him out of the early 2000s rut he appears to be in.)

When Bruisa sank the slipper into the ball off the ground from sixty out and it rolled through for a major to give us a six goal lead it seemed the Warriors were unbeatable. Recognising that I was pretty much a liability, I concentrated on running into random members of the opposition when they went near the ball, drawing on the advice of the great Chinese General Sun Tzu, “Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.”

Marko and Rodders in the front half were also providing the opposition with a few surprises, and Damo – looking ageless and unflustered throughout the game was proving to be a valuable target. The backline was working well together through the efforts of the metaphoric Pas and Jezza. Culturally separated by the Ionian Sea, they held back waves of attack on their respective flanks.

But the tide turned as our fitness began to wane, the warm weather sapped our energy. Lilydale got on top, despite the relentless running of Munga and CT (I almost didn’t recognise him without the usual bandages, strapping and surgical supports) on the other wing. Lilydale drew level and then cruised past us.

Warrior highlights came less frequently, but when Carbo thumped a torp out of our backline that landed somewhere deep in the forward half it was a thing of beauty. Sammy never gave up, and his long range goal in the last quarter reminded us of what could have been. I sat in the rooms after the game, downcast, disappointed and dismayed. But despair is not in the Warrior’s vocabulary – and the next game we will rise to the challenge once again, with hope in our hearts, steel in our eyes and plenty of anti-inflammatory medication in our blood.