by Grunta

With Dusty missing for Round 6, it’s over to me to cobble together the 55s match report, and in the paragraphs ahead I will do my best to convey this literary artisan’s inimitable style…

With a triple header of 55s matches scheduled at Edinburgh Reserve, the Warriors were the meat in the middle, facing the undefeated ladder leaders Diamond Valley at high noon when most our age should be enjoying a Sunday roast and a glass of Metamucil.

A sizeable crowd and perfect conditions stimulated a positive mood among the Warriors pre-game. The lush green sward of Edinburgh Reserve looked magnificent in the midday sun, aside from the muddy brown strip blemishing the centre of an otherwise pristine oval. When viewed from above, our home ground looks like a naked Wicked Witch of the West with a Brazilian.

I arrived just in time for the start of the game, driving 300 kilometres from Moama to take a spot on the bench in a less than ideal match preparation. With Pete assisting to run the bench, I was waved on halfway through the first term when Eddie needed a break and moved straight onto the ball. Diamond Valley were already starting to get on top with the first three goals of the quarter, and some calamitous kicking on my part did little to stem the flow. I was subtly shifted to half forward, where I saw little action but enjoyed a fine view of Munga’s muscled glutes as he held position on the eastern wing. Fatigued from regular bursts of pointing and shouting, I welcomed the half time break as did the rest of the team, with the scoreline 7.5 to 0.4.

To all in attendance, an extended thrashing appeared likely, but the plucky group of 19 Warriors plus two ring-ins had other ideas.

Pondering our predicament while chewing on a green lolly snake, I resolved to lift in the second half. Some shuffling of the magnets saw me back on the bench to start the second half and Sammy moved to half forward. They say change is as good as a holiday – I have never understood why, as I have generally found a holiday to be significantly more enjoyable than a change. Sam marked 20 out and kicked our first goal. Change is good! I was waved on by Pete five or so minutes in and sent to the backline. I searched in vain for an inanimate, incapable over 70 forward to match up on, but the choices were tall, nimble and skilled, so I matched up on an empty patch of grass in the pocket well away from the crowd.

Soon after, a chain that started in the backline saw the Sherrin sherred (see what I did there?) along the wing ultimately to Magoo in the square who snapped our second goal. Later in the same quarter, I got disoriented and found myself in our forward 50 at the right time to gather the ball from a ruck contest and snap it into the goal square, where Magoo was again able to convert. The Warriors were coming! Eddie was electric, Pogzy was poignant and Frenchy was magnifique. We outscored Diamond Valley three goals to one in the third term and the chance of a miracle comeback was on.

But some don’t believe in miracles, and two goals early to Diamond Valley put the game out of reach. Schenky, who was starring in his debut game for the 55s was rewarded with a goal in the final term. We were able to match the ladder leaders for the second half but the laws of mathematics don’t allow for a third half, annoyingly. At the end of the day, the day ends and we go to bed, reflecting on all we could have done better before dreaming of redemption next round. And that is a wonderful way to drift off.

Ace.