*Apologies for the delay, was hoping to publish all three reports. The Over 35s report is coming, but Pogz has been busy with his applications for the Carlton and Essendon coaching jobs. Stay tuned.
Womens Footy Rush Round 4 Match Report
by Sandra
Sir Doug Nicholls Round | Mornington
Sir Doug Nicholls Round gave us the privilege and opportunity to wear our new Indigenous tops, and under sunny Mornington skies we turned up bright and early ready to go — even if it meant some of the team leaving home before others were out of bed.
With Kirsty a late out, we still had a full squad of 13 players make the trip: Sue, Suni, Doc, Susie, Bec, Renata, H, Helen, Sandra, Kylie, Mish, Reyzl and Jen. We played 9‑a‑side and lent the opposition two different players each quarter. A big thank you to all our girls who were gifted to the opposition to help level the teams out.
The game itself was a little more physical than we’re used to, with some jumper pulling and unnecessary pushing from the opposition. That said, we played really well and worked together as a team.
The first half showed some excellent forward pressure. Reyzl was especially busy up front, with three goals heartbreakingly disallowed, while Suni added another that sadly didn’t count either. If they’d all been on the board, the final scores would have been very even.
Down back, H was an absolute master of defence, saving what felt like a million certain goals, taking strong marks and working superbly under pressure. She worked hard all day and nailed a number of booming kick‑outs.
Through the middle, Mish, Kylie and Susie worked tirelessly, linking up really well and driving the ball forward. We showed some really nice passages of play with forward handballs, though at times the we were a little overcrowded around the ball.
After half time, the umpires came to their senses and adopted a rule change allowing goals to count when players were being tagged. It was a little late given we had already missed four opportunities, but we were still thankful.
Helen triumphantly kicked a goal while rotating for the opposition, and everyone from both teams celebrated. Shortly after, she then accidentally saved a certain goal.
Things heated up at times and tensions boiled over, earning Doc a free kick after some particularly rough play.
We kicked four goals, all in the last quarter. Bec kicked her first ever goal in a huge milestone moment, Kylie finished one beautifully after an assist from H, Susie nailed a great left‑footer, and Sandra also hit the scoreboard. At one point we were still congratulating ourselves when the opposition had already kicked out — a good reminder to stay switched on for those quick changeovers next time.
All in all, it was a tough, spirited game. Despite the extra contact and disallowed goals, we stuck together, played fair, supported each other and finished strong. A great team effort in a meaningful round.
Well played, everyone.
Final Score
Carrum Cowgirls – 8 6 54
Eastern Warriors – 4 4 28
Mens Over 50s Round 4 Match Report
by Grunta
With the grand unveiling of the Eastern Warriors’ first indigenous jumper, the stage was set for a Doug Nicholls Round clash with the Carrum Cowboys at Warriorland. Carrum was also wearing their indigenous jumper, also designed by Vicki Thomas, the artist behind the Warriors’ mens and womens jerseys.
Kaine was thrown into the hot seat for Round 4, his first solo coaching effort for the Warriors. With Theo out with broken ribs, Clint out with a calf and Col out with a charcuterie plate, we turned to Temu captains (DVCs) Kenny and Carbo to lead us out.
On a grey, drizzly day, the Warriors were up against it from a much-improved Carrum outfit whose physicality and organisation put us to the sword in the first half. Killer took a big hit to the shoulder early in the game – he played on and did a job on their dangerous no. 8 for the rest of the game. The downside was his shoulder was rooted, but the good news was he could move his head!
Turnip came in on debut and provided a strong presence at half forward, Bruiser and Adorab-Al were crashing packs but the superior ball movement from Carrum quickly took the game away.
Pogzy, in his first game for the 50s this year, showed his tactical brilliance by dry humping a Carrum player’s head while he was on all fours. Known as the Reverse Cowboy, the move definitely rattled the other team for a moment and also got Pogzy some content for his OnlyFans page.
The defensive unit was under siege. Carrum was well structured in their forward half and we struggled with turnovers in the backline, especially from kick-ins. Pas, Dave, AJ, Kenny and Matty D had their work cut out for them getting the ball out. When they did, Eddie and Hip Hop provided run through the wings, but getting deep entries was a rare event.
At half time, Kaine bulked up the midfield with bigger bodies, moving Martin in along with Carbo, Bruiser and Killer. Our forward pressure improved. Thorny, Steve, Gez, Goldy and Marko started to get more looks and after Farah got a handpass and a running shot for a point, Lou got our first goal in the third quarter.
Unfortunately that was our last score of the game, Carrum proving too good and running out easy winners. Play of the day went to Killer in the final quarter. In the backline, I ran to get to a Kenny kickout, the wet ball slipped past but I managed to tap it over to Killer who scooped it up and dished off a perfect handball to a loose player calling for it, who then kicked truly to a leading mark. Brilliant… except the loose player calling “Killer, Killer!” was from Carrum. Bastard. Wasn’t our day.
Ladbrokes was paying $360 for the following multi –
- Lou anytime goal scorer
- Turnip to win rising star nomination
- Pogz to perform a lewd act on field
- HipHop to pull off a double somersault
I had this in the bag except the last – was only one somersault out on the half forward line, getting airborne from a bump and rolling straight back up onto the feet. Most of us would be in a wheelchair.
At the end of the match, we heard the sad news that Al might have played his last game for the season, with knee surgery required. If you insert earplugs to avoid the relentless trash talk, you’ll see a player who gives his all during every game and will be missed. It also means I’ll need some new material for the match reports. Wishing you all the best Allan.
Congrats to Kaine on his first game as senior coach, and now we move on to next round v Port Melbourne, who’ve shown improvement in 2026 with a win over Cranbourne. The team has been taking turns to rub Clint’s calf daily, and this is a crucial match for resetting season 2026. Let’s do it!
Final Score
Carrum 15.17.107, Warriors 1.1.7
Goals
Lou 1
